It's Alison's Page... Need I say more?

Don't let her lack of her own website fool you, she has enough money to buy the whole internet with a week's allowance.

Her Services

I mean, these are just a few, but her services are infinite because of her greatness, she is basically God.


Egotisticality

Alison will teach you how to be egotistical just like her. Be warned, her levels of ego take years of planning and decades of precision; however, she was born with it of course because she is that good. *spray*

Popularity

Being the most popular kid in Spanish class, Alison has much to teach everyone about the popularity "ways". One day, the creator of this website hopes to take a lesson from her and learn the methods she employs to be as popular as she is.

Musicality

Since she is the best violinist in the school, first chair, she can teach all about how much better she is at her instrument than you are. She is known as player of that "Jewish solo" from Spamalot and last chair in the Warminster Symphony Orchestra. In school however, Alidumb enjoys a violin rating of 14/10 where previously she played an 11/10. Clearly the Ling-Ling workout is working for her!

Letter Opening

Employed with unprecedented intelligence, Alidumb turns high profits through her mail shipping and preparing service. She takes letters that you wish to mail, stamps them, cuts them, and seals them (lickity lick). Then she spends some time with the best caligrapher in the business: herself, since she is great at everything. You can be sure that you are getting a high quality product! Alidumb knows it for sure.

People Reviews

Alidumb hates a lot of people, but she loves me.


Tessa

A terrible person

Where do we begin... She is such a mess. When she isn't cheating on her former boyfriend Noah, she's consulting in some very inappropriate actions with Hardin, the worst guy imaginable who treats women like objects and does not recognize that they are human. Tessa feels like the whole world is against her and that she's been thrown into a toxic situation without realizing that the situation is a result of her own stupid decisions. She is the worst.

Shivam Singh

Our favorite!

Ugh... where can she begin? Shivam Singh is the perfect person, and that's what makes Alidumb love and hate him so much. She knows that he is better than her at everything *self spritz*. He is the epitome of greatness, being both good looking and good at creating meme websites. I mean, c'mon, how many people have tried and failed to hack his website? He truly is an inspiration to all!

Meet Her Team

She never has anyone on her side.


Alison LaPat

Sr. Dog Instagram Manager

Alidumb would have wanted me to dedicate this caption to tell everyone to go follow her dog @sandystrudelpoodle on Instagram.

“I am better than you" - Kayne West - Alison LaPat

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